Death of a "Flip Flop"

There are few things in my life that are very valuable to me; my relationship with Jesus Christ, my wife, my kids, my ministry, my guitar, and...my flip flops. My relationship with this particular pair of flip flops began over four years ago. I have had many other pairs of flip flops in my life but never have I felt so close to flip flop type footwear as I have this pair. There was nothing very special about this pair of flip flops; they only cost $3.00, I bought them at a bait shop in Tennessee, they are not a name brand, and they were not even close to a fasion statement but I think that all of those qualities in my dearly departed flip flops is what made them so special to me. I feel like a part of me has died, and in a way, I guess it has. What happened to my flip flops you ask? Well the police are still doing an investigation but based on the tear in the side, they think that it was an act of a...(sorry it's still hard to talk about) "flat tire". They still have some more interviews to do but they have told me that they have a "person of interest" in mind that may have commited this terrible flat tire. Here is the description of the person of interest: female, 15-16 yrs old, right footed, dark hair, possibly with the initials D.A., and probably wearing flip flops at the time of the crime. If anyone has any more information on who could have commited this act, please contact me as soon as possible. Well, I had better go. I am going to go out and bury my flip flops. I have a spot picked out right next to my 1986 Air Jordans.