Decompressing Dan

Every once in a while, I have to go somewhere to... decompress. Now many people often feel this need and so they decompress in their own ways. Some go to movies(too expensive), some go golfing (not something that helps me decompress but actually puts me into a mini-rage), some people scrapbook(hmmmm.....no), some people sleep(boring), and others just veg out in front of the TV (I can't sit still that long). While all of those ways are fine to me(except the scrapbook thing), I prefer the simpler things. I like doing things that do not involve a lot of deep thinking, that involve the possibility that someone might get injured (ask Brad about that one), and that involve getting so filthy dirty that you basically throw away the clothes that you are wearing when you are finished. Riding four wheelers gets the job done. Yesterday, me and Hosehead(Brad) went four wheeling. Brad's dad owns a couple and was nice enough to let us borrow them. What a great time. I was especially excited to go because of all of the rain the past few days. Mud+Four Wheeler=Fun. Believe it or not, the ground was fairly dry. I must admit that I was a little disappointed. Trailing through Brad's G-Ma's woods was fun but where was the mud? Eventually... we found it(see picture above). It was good to decompress.

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

It seemed like a good idea at the time. How many times in your life have you said this? I can attest that I have said it many times myself. There was the time when I was about twelve, me and a friend thought that a six foot long board would make for a good ramp to jump our bikes off of. We also thought that it was a good idea to start stacking a few railroad ties to make the ramp higher. It worked out okay until we got about seven ties stacked up. Think about it. A six foot long ramp that went about six feet high. When I hit the ramp I went up about twelve feet. The only things I really remember is hitting the ground (still on my bike) and my left pedal breaking off. It seemed like a good idea at the time (I have a nice scar on my left knee that is proof of this). Another was when a group of college friends and I (Julie was there too) decided to enter an unmarked cave in the hills of northeastern Tennessee. The entrance to the cave was in the back of this farmers field. This thing went on forever. We trudged through waist deep water, through small openings on our hands and knees, up small inclines and down others. Of course, it was very dark. At one point, however, the fearless leader of the group said "You may want to stay close to the right against the wall for a little bit". I did as I was told but when I looked to my left with my flashlight, I noticed that we were walking on about a twelve inch wide ledge with about a thirty foot drop off to the side. Again, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I must admit, it has been a while since I have had one of those "It seemed like a good idea at the time" moments....until last week. To make a long story short, last week, I received a call from an old friend. He told me that the Putt-Putt place in Milford was closing down and that the owner wanted to give me something that I might be able to use in my ministry
(I had known the owner for years). My friend went on to tell me that if I wanted, I could have the "Bank shot Basketball" court. I immediately said "OF COURSE".

***BELOW IS A PICTURE TO EXPLAIN BANK SHOT BASKETBALL-THINK PUTT-PUTT WITH A BASKETBALL AND HOOP***

I was so excited! Think of the possibilities of having such a piece of recreation equipment. What could it mean for Loveland Christian Church? What could it mean for my family? My mind was racing. It was then my friend informed me that since I wanted it, it needed to be out of there by the next day. No Problem. I joyfully went off to claim my prize.

After about four hours into taking these stinking awkward things off of their mountings (two ladders, five guys (who hate me now), and about twenty cuts from the fiberglass), I had a realization. Where am I going to put 19 fiberglass backboards with rims? All I can say is that now, when people ask Julie for directions to our house, all she says is, "It's the house with the big pile of fiberglass junk in the side yard that my stupid husband has no clue what to do with".

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Thoughts on The Renaissance

In my time at college, part of my education involved a two year block of study called Humanities. It's hard to explain but think of world history, literature, philosophy, fine arts, and composition all rolled into one killer course. There were books to read(from Homer to Sophocles to Augustine to Erasmus to Shakespeare, Keats, Shelley, and on and on)lectures to hear, papers to write, and slide shows to watch depicting the art style of the period we were covering. I must say, back then, I really didn't see the point of all of the ramblings of the professors, endless reading, and the hours of viewing "works of art"....until now. This past weekend, my family made a trek back in history "Brought alive again" to a place called "The Ohio Renaissance Festival". Please understand, I am definitely NOT an expert the Renaissance period. I am frankly surprised that I can even spell it. I think that Renaissance is french for rebirth or something like that. To my recollection, some famous artist of that time were people like Michelangelo, daVinci, and Botticelli (or something like that). That's the depth of my memory but there we were all the same...The Ohio Renaissance Festival. Overall, we had a great time. The food was great ( I highly recommend the soup in a bread bowl)! There were shops everywhere. Wooden swords, clothing from the time, wooden swords, sticks, wooden swords, suits of armor, wooden swords....I think that you get the picture. The place was huge and there were many things to do. There were different shows that ran throughout the day and we were able to take in a couple. One was called, "The Mud Show". It was pretty funny. The one I really wanted to see(and by the size of the crowd, so did everyone else) was a real live joust with horses and everything. We went early to get a good seat. It took a long time to get to the jousting (lots of ceremony and the like). There was an announcer in the middle of the arena on this huge black horse that was trying to get the crowd all hyped up (probably 1,000+ people). The guy basically divided the crowd in two and each side was to cheer for their rider. He evidently picked me out of the the 1,000 people there to chastise for not cheering enough. He stopped the whole thing and pointed right at me and said "YOU!!! YES YOU!!! (he went on to describe me so that everyone knew who the slacker was) WHY DOEST THOU NOT CHEER FOR YOUR KNIGHT?" Needless to say, I cheered after that. Finally, the knights were going to make their first pass (can you feel the excitement?). The one dude dealt a direct blow and knocked the other off of his horse. Game over. All of that for one pass. Oh well. The funniest thing about the whole day was watching the people. Some people really take this whole renaissance thing seriously but at different levels:

Level One (spent 100's of $ on outfit, real sword)- They wore the whole outfit, shoes included. They even spoke with an accent. They drink their beverage (never carbonated) from a real, wooden, mug. These people would never be caught eating a frozen banana(they evidently had them during the renaissance you know).

Level Two (bought a cool outfit but no shoes and fake sword)- From far away they look like level one until you see work boots and wooden sword. These people do however, drink their Pepsi from a brown colored, plastic mug.

Level Three (bought part of an outfit while there, no wooden sword, but a walking stick)-They may have a horned Viking hat or a cloak on over their blue jeans. They Drink from a Pepsi paper cup but do like to eat the turkey leg thing.

Level Four (these people are confused)- A level four person dresses like Harry Potter or Captain Jack Sparrow or might even wear something from Star Wars . They are not really sure about the whole Renaissance thing. They like to eat frozen bananas.

Just a short note, please do not be offended if you are a level one, two, or three person. I think that you are great. If you are a level four person...you need help.

Overall, I guess I would recommend a visit to the Ohio Renaissance Festival. We did have fun, but spent a few bucks. It was also nice to put my education in the Renaissance period to good use (ha ha). Best of all, we can now mark another item off of..."The List"(see previous post).

This post is titled: "Dan Does Not Really Feel Like Writing Today So He Is Just Going To Post An Old Video"

RENOVATE: Night Number One

Last night...was cool. I case you haven't heard, last night, our student ministry at LCC, kicked off a new season long series entitled RENOVATE. It was also the first official night of IMPACT (our Sunday night student "thingy") in our new schedule format. I must say that in the hours prior to starting, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I'm glad it wasn't up to me. God did some really cool things. We started off with our Jr High students and all I can say is that I had a blast. They were so much fun to be with and they really responded to our talk about renovation. After that, we had our combined Jr/Sr. High worship. I must admit, I had to do a double take when I walked through the doors to the worship center. There were teens every where. It was good to see several new faces and other faces that I haven't seen much in the last month or so. Worship time was good. Our kids really know how to honor God. Our Senior high talk time was great. Again, it was good to be with them. We had some good discussion and there were times of humor as well as deep contemplation. I think this new series is going to change some people (me included). Can't wait for next week!

Excitement Abounds!

I have not been this excited since High School Musical 2 came out (insert sarcastic laugh here). I can't sleep, I can't eat (yeah right), and frankly, I can't sit still (nothing new there). Why? I thought that you would never ask! This Sunday, the LCC student ministry is kicking off our fall IMPACT season. This year, we are doing a season long series entitled RENOVATE. It is also the first week of our new schedule.

6:30-7:30pm Jr High Only (6th-8th Grades)

7:10-7:40pm Combined Worship (All Grades)

7:45-8:30pm Senior High Only (9th-12th Grades)

If you have no idea of what IMPACT is, I will try to fill you in. IMPACT (Illustrations, Music, Prayer, and Christ Teachings) is our student Bible Study, fellowship, and worship service. Basically, anything goes (that's Biblical). The best way for me to explain IMPACT to you is for you to check it out for yourself. If you have any questions or need more information, please email me at http://dponchot@lovedtolove.org.

Since you are reading this, I feel that you and I have formed a bond that allows me to ask something of you, trust me, it's not money. I would like to ask you to pray for the student ministry. Pray for our students, our sponsors, and our staff. Pray that God's truths will be heard every week this fall. Pray that programming and schedules will not replace the moving of the Holy Spirit. Got it?? I will pause for a moment for you to pray right now....(insert your prayer here).....AMEN! THANKS!!! I really believe that God is going to do some cool stuff this year and that students lives will be changed. Excitement abounds!!!

The List.....

As we approach the time of year when deciduous trees drop their leaves, when kids are back in school, when the air is crisp and clear (except in southern Ohio), and when the local stores have had their Halloween items out for a full two months, it can only mean one thing. Summer is over. As I look back to what was the "Ponchot Family Summer", I am drawn to a mysterious writing that I have never actually seen with my own eyes, but it's effect on our family has been profound. It's called...the List. You see last spring, my lovely (and wise) wife Julie, put together "The List". The "List" was simply a gathering of all the things that she thought that we should do during the summer as a family. Usually, summer flies by without making a sound except for maybe a weeks vacation. Not this year. I think she is on to something. The "List" contained many items. Some were very simple, like buying an ice cream from the ice cream truck. Others were more involved, like a three day camping experience. The "List" also included trips to parks, trips to farms, going to a drive-in movie (I hadn't done that in years), having kid movie night at home, and many others. You might think that it made for a highly regimented , scheduled summer but it wasn't like that at all. I don't even think that we made it through the entire "List" (especially since I have never been privy to read it) but I do know we gave it a run. All I can say is that this summer was great! I highly recommend that you hire my wife next spring to help you make your own "List"(just kidding). I will add a short word of caution to all guys, the "List" was not all fun and games. There were also some home projects on the "List". Be ye warned. Uh Oh....something just occurred to me...is she working on...the fall... "List"?

Wednesday Morning: Spam, Opossum, and Dark Roast Coffee

I love Wednesday mornings! Every Wednesday, I have the opportunity to meet the chairman of our Elders for coffee and conversation. I know that to a lot of you that may seem a little weird. Meeting the "boss" fun? It's actually the highlight of my weekday mornings. I have told other youth ministers about meeting with chairman of the Elders for coffee and its always the same reply, "So what did you do?". I then tell them that I have met with him every Wednesday morning for the last few years and the look of astonishment is priceless. The truth of the matter is that meeting with him has really helped me in my ministry here at LCC. A lot of the spiritually impactful things that we have done in our ministry have come from one of our Wednesday morning talks. I look to him for advice not only in my ministry, but also in just about every aspect of my life. Now don't get me wrong, the talk is not always high brow and intellectual, far from it. In fact, we often change topics of conversation minute by minute. It can go from insights on the ministry of Jesus to what's on sale at Bass Pro shops to how to cook opossum to any other off the wall concept. One thing that you also need to know about the chairman of our elders, he is a Half-Price Book Store "junkie". This year alone, he has probably given me about ten books. Some are very spiritual in nature (maybe a book about Biblical truths), some are not. My favorite is a book titled "SPAM- A Biography". I really never know what we are going to talk about. Probably the best part of the Wednesday morning though is spending some time in prayer. It is a great mid-week pick me up. I am so glad to be at a church where I can be so open with all of our leadership, especially "The Chairman". God has truly blesses our church leadership with some awesome people. Well, I hope that this look into what is known as the Dan Ponchot Wednesday Morning Experience was insightful to you. Hopefully it might explain why I am a little goofy at about 9:30am on Wednesdays. A few cups of dark roast has that effect on me.

15 YEARS AGO TODAY...

Fifteen years ago today:
A first class stamp was $0.29, the song/record of the year was Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, the top sitcom on television was Roseanne, a gallon of gas cost $1.47, George H.W. Bush was in the White House, the first web sites were being created on the new Internet, hurricane Andrew just hit south Florida killing 23, and the super Nintendo was the big gaming system. I know, thanks for the history lesson.

While those events are huge in the day that was August 29th, 1992, none can compare to the big event of that day. You see, 15 years ago today, Julie Horan agreed to become my wife. Over the years, when people have asked me how long I have been married, I often joke, "ten(or whatever it really was)but it feels like thirty" (ha ha). The truth be told, today, as we celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss, it seems like yesterday. In fact, to look at my wife Julie, it could have been yesterday. Even after shuffling from Tennessee to Ohio, job changes, house changes, three kids, and two (stupid) dogs, the girl hasn't changed. She looks the same, smiles the same, and even acts the same. Even her easily recognizable "Julie" laugh is the same (I can hear it a mile away). Being around Julie, I feel like I'm still a goofy teenager (no offense to all of my goofy LCC teenagers), at least until I look in the mirror or get on a scale.

I hear people talk all the time about "soul mates", "the love of my life", and things like to refer to their significant other. To me, those phrases pale in comparison to what my wife of 15 years means to me. You see, 15 years ago today, God gave me the second greatest gift ever. He gave me Julie

Someone is watching you.

Now don't take the title of this simple blog to mean something weird. I am not going to ask "Have you checked the children?" or "Do you want to see something really scary?" or any thing else that is related to some cheesy horror movie. In the course of my ministry, I have used the phrase "someone is watching you" many times to illustrate that people watch us, and what we do as Christians, to see how a person of God is supposed to act. True statement but recently in my life, I have noticed that the "Someone is watching you" thing has gone to a whole new level. Not only are people watching me but some people are mimicking me. Mainly, my kids. Sometimes, I look at these wonderful children and I see....me. Nothing that Hollywood could produce in the horror movie genre could frighten me as much as watching my kids act, talk, and eat the same way that I do. My oldest son has a great sense of humor (not from me) and often does (and says)the goofiest things. I tell my wife "I don't know where he comes up with this stuff" and she says..."He's just like YOU". My middle child, Nathan, hates to lose, AT ANYTHING! Again, my wife informs me that he is competitive... just like me. My youngest (a three year old female terror), likes to sing random songs...just like me.
I must admit to you that sometimes when people tell me that my kids are like me in this way or that, a small sense of pride comes to my mind. It's fun to hear that my kid eats his peanut butter and jelly...just like me or he has a goofy sense of humor...just like me or she sings random songs...just like me but what I really would like hear someday is....Man your kid's love Jesus....just like you.

LCC CRIBS

We did this video and laughed the whole time during the shoot and the editing. Evidently it is more humorous to the participants than to the general public.

New Series For This Season Of IMPACT

TIRED

I'm tired. For the past 10-14 days it seems that things have been going nonstop. Last week, I had the pleasure (no kidding, a pleasure) to take a group of senior high youth to summer conference in Carbondale, Il. What a great time! If you have never taken a group of teens to a week long conference, I highly recommend it. I do, however, recommend that you take along a great group of adult sponsors to help out (as I always do). Our kids were great. It is truly awesome to see how they are maturing in their faith. The tendency at these conferences is for teens to respond out of emotion and the heat of the moment and get all fired up every night. While that's not all bad, it usually doesn't last. This year was different. Everyone in our group really seemed to be contemplating what they heard, saw, and felt every night. There was a lot of heavy duty soul searching going on and I think that some of them are still working through it. It seems that most of the time, people (teens and adults alike) go to high impact, emotionally charged, events like these and go crazy about Jesus while they are there but when they return home...reality sets in. I've seen kids (and adults) return from an events like summer conferences, men's retreats, woman's retreats, and revivals and then drop off the face of the earth. I simply never see them in church again. That is why it was so encouraging to see our teens really working everything out. It's really cool to see.
Another highlight of that week was that I had a heart attack. Don't freak out, it's not what you think (at least not yet). We had an afternoon off from conference so we went to a mall and decided to grab lunch at the food court. I glanced over the menus of the various eating establishments and quickly found the place that suited my fancy. Burger joint. Now this fine eating establishment had several kinds of burgers: Single, double, double with bacon, all of the ordinary fair. What I decided on, however, was their signature hamburger, THE "HEART ATTACK". I was made to consume a burger like this. (WARNING!!! Content of this hamburger not suitable for all readers) It had two patties with cheese on each. On top of that, they piled up shaved gyro meat about two inches high. On top of that was placed three really greasy pieces of bacon. All of this on a bun (already soaked with grease when I got it) along with all the fix ins' including that gyro sauce stuff. Good times. I actually felt my blood thicken as I ate.

This week, the craziness continues. It's vacation bible school week here at LCC. I used to think that the most ear piercing sound in the world was a seventh grade girl screaming, I may have thought wrong. The new winner might just be a couple of hundred kids during song time at VBS. They crack me up. To add to my craziness, for the last two days, I have been doing a painting job for my father-in-law. I HATE TO PAINT (especially at two o'clock in the morning)! Especially since it was a rush job that had to be done by this morning and as of last night at 11:30pm...it was done.
Like I have said...I'm tired but rest is on the way. Next Monday, me and the fam are going camping for a couple of days. It will be good to spend some time with them and I am looking forward to it.

So allow me to recap:
SUMMER CONFERENCE = Fun and encouraging
HEART ATTACKS(burgers of course) = $4.59 and a culinary experience that is unforgettable
VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL = Ear piercing but mucho funo
PAINTING ON A DEADLINE = STINKS but profitable
VACATION WITH FAMILY = Can't wait

THIS SUNDAY NIGHT AT IMPACT

MIDDLER CAMP 2007

I'm still tired. Last week, I took part in what has become a yearly gig for me. I served as a counselor at a week of church camp for some crazy (yet awesome) 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. Yes, this age group is a little younger than what I am used to, but it was fun all the same. The amount of energy that these kids have is unbelievable. It's hard to explain life at church camp. It's kind of a continuous cycle of eating, walking, Bible study, laughing, swimming, eating, teaching, lining up, not sleeping, walking, tooting (I can't say the F#RT word, my mom may read this), praying, eating, singing, dancing, lining up, eating, Bible study, teaching...I think that you get the picture. Usually the week at camp flies by for me. This year, it didn't. I'm not sure why but the entire week just seemed to be a constant struggle. First of all, my right hip was out of socket most of the week. This causes great pain when I walk for a long time and and as mentioned above, walking is big at camp. They even had a chiropractor come to camp to adjust me but it didn't last long. Second of all, we had a lot of technical issues with computers, projectors, and sound equipment. Nothing went right. While none of those problems in themselves were really a big deal, together, they made for a long week. But I think that the biggest reason that week was such a struggle was just the emotional roller coaster that God decided I needed to ride.

ROLLER COASTER UPS:
The ups on my "emotional roller coaster" ride were awesome. One of which was spending time with "Hosehead" (Brad, my nephew). He makes me laugh so much that my face starts to hurt. He is truly a joy to be around and it is exciting to bounce my ideas off of him to see what he thinks. It doesn't seem to matter where we are or what we are doing, something funny is always happening. Another "Up" for the week was working with the teen counselors from our youth group here at LCC. I was so proud of them in that they honestly made the week about the kids and not about themselves. I knew they all had a heart for serving God, but it was just cool to see it in action. I hope they all understand the difference that they made in the lives of those kids at camp. Our teens were also fun to play pranks on. Shaving cream in the shoes was fine but my favorite was plastic wrapping one of our teen guys in his bed. It was so worth staying up until 3:30am to do it. He was so mad when he woke up. It took him like five minutes to get out. I crack myself up. Many other cool "UP" things happened but none would top what happened on Friday. You see Friday, my oldest son Jacob was baptized into Christ (thus the picture). I have never been so proud. What even made the moment more special to me was that he chose to be baptized not in the pool (like everyone else), but wanted to go "old school" and have it done in the lake. Yes, I know it doesn't really matter but I thought that it was cool all the same.
ROLLER COASTER DOWNS:
I guess it's not really fair to say that I had down moments. It would probably be more accurate to say that I had some "heavy" moments. Most of these "heavy" moments revolve around some of the kids that were in my group at camp. It's really amazing how close you can get to some kids that you only know for a few days. The more I joked with them, kidded with them, and simply cared for them, the more they opened up to talk. Eventually, I found myself being crushed in hearing some of the stuff that they deal with everyday at home. It was really hard to hear. Even though it was good to be able to share some scriptures with them and pray about each of their situations, I still struggled with...knowing. Really it wasn't the knowing what was happening thing that messed me up, (I have seen/heard stuff like that before) it was the knowing that at the end of the week, many of them were going right back into the life that they had left a few days earlier. I can only pray that God encouraged and strengthened them through their week at camp. It might have been through a song, a lesson, a word from a teen, a burping contest, or just about anything else that goes on at camp. My only hope is that the campers heard the message loud and clear....I know I did.

THIS WEEK AT IMPACT

HINDI PART II

थिस इस रेअल्ल्य क्रेच्किंग मे उप। सो मान्य पीपुल रेअल्ल्य वांट तो क्नोव वहत ई ऍम व्रितिंग। ई गुएस्स ठाट सोम परसों विल फिगुरे थिस आउट सूनेर ओर लेटर। थें मय फुं विल बे ओवर। बर्ड एस्तेप इस स्टील अ होसेहेअद।


पास,

डी.ए.प.

BLOG IN HINDI

वेल्कोमे तो मय ब्लोग इन हिंदी। जुस्त सो ठाट यू अल क्नोव, तेरे इस अ फेतुरे नोव ओं ब्लॉगर ठाट अल्लोव्स यू तो राइट इन हिंदी। ई हवे नो आईडिया वहत गूढ़ थिस विल दो बुत इत इस रेअल्ल्य कूल। ई होप ठाट सोमोने विल रीड थिस ऎंड ऎंड लेट मे क्नोव ठाट थेय कैन रीड इत। थे ओनली थिंग ठाट ई रेअल्ल्य वांट तो सय इस ठाट बर्ड इस अ होसेहेअद।

पास,

डी.ए.प.

CORN INDIANA

**WARNING-WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ COULD PUT YOUR LIFE AT RISK**
There is a place in this great country of ours in which the laws of logic do not exist. This place is known to very few "outsiders". In fact, thousands of people drive through there every day not even noticing that something is very...odd. Even now when I think about it, I get this strange feeling that I have witnessed something that I shouldn't have. I feel like I am being watched. I will not tell you exactly where it is because residents there may be reading this and would certainly come after me to keep me "quiet". All I can tell you is that this parallel universe does exist and it is in the area of interstate 65 between Indianapolis and Chicago. I simply refer to it as "Corn", Indiana. You see in Corn, things are different. There seems to exist this "secret society" of people that do things a little bit....different. To call them backwards wouldn't really explain their practices in life there. I will try to explain (although it really is illogical). In Corn, one of the ways they survive is to sell things. They attract tourist using flashy signs depicting cows eating ice cream and huge wheels of cheese. The tourist are lured like moths to a light bulb by promises of a cheese factory tour, home made ice cream and fancy barns to make you feel like you are down on the farm. In fact, this is where the weirdness begins as last week, Brad and I were also lured into the clutches of this magical place of high butter fat ice cream, cows, big cheeses, and of course a working cheese factory.
"You're really not going to stop here are you? We should leave now. You are an idiot". I should have heeded those words (except the idiot part, he is such a hosehead) from Brad. I still hear them in my dreams. We searched for Ice cream (and a bathroom) for what seemed like minutes. We located a huge barn that I was sure would house a bathroom but the only entry door would require us to pay money to go on some kind of indoctrination program to Corn (or it could have been a dairy tour). We walked around the outside of that huge barn trying to find a bathroom and then we saw a promising sign that let to.... the cheese factory. Surely where there is cheese, there is a toilet. I was right. The cheese factory barn was stunning. Huge blocks and wheels of every kind of cheese that you could imagine. It was a beautiful sight. I almost cried. In the back of the cheese store was a huge window where you could watch them make the cheese. As we pressed our faces against the window to watch the cheese making magic, the first of the oddities of Corn Indiana struck us. They do not actually make cheese at the working cheese factory. There before us was a room gleaming in stainless steel and cheese machines that I can't explain but..... and this is a huge but...no people, no cheese. So observation about Corn number one: They do not actually make cheese at the "working cheese factory". The craziness of Corn continues as we entered the line for the "home made" ice cream. There, in front of us, was the counter to purchase ice cream. First oddity of buying ice cream in "Corn": There were no signs to label any ice cream, prices, or anything else about purchasing ice cream. Second oddity of buying ice cream in "Corn": Not one else in the whole place seemed to be buying ice cream (again.... those words of Brad "We should leave now"). By now, my heart was beating very fast. I didn't know what to do next, but I knew that I had to make contact with the Corninian ice cream chick in order to get ice cream, so I asked her a simple question. How do you sell your ice cream here? Her answer still defies what is logical to me. Her answer was that they sell a single and a double. Sounded simple enough to me so I asked how big was a single. She answered, "A SINGLE is TWO scoops and a DOUBLE is FOUR scoops. I know that I must have just stood there dumbfounded by this Corninian math. A "single" is "two" scoops? This secret society obviously has there own math system. I was stunned for a couple of minutes and I'm not sure what happened (I think that I kind of passed out). All of the sudden, Brad and I were walking... no... fast walking, out of the cheese factory (that does not actuallymake cheese)/ice cream place (that sells a single that is two scoops).
I hope that you take the warning at the top of this writing seriously. I think that Brad and I have uncovered the Corninians and their plans to take their beliefs to the rest of the world. I myself, have survived an attack on my life where they tried to poison me with a tainted cheese coney. So let these words burn into your mind. Beware if you you ever take interstate 65 north to Chicago or you too could find yourself right in the middle of.....Corn.

THE UNEXPLAINED

There are some things in life that you just can't explain. I realize that some things don't need to be explained to us and that's okay. But you should know that at any given moment, I am continuously rolling around in this over sized head of mine many of these "things" that are beyond explanation. Some are very deep and spiritual, some are not. But it's always something that really bugs me. This last winter, it was "Why is it that when it rains, thousands of earthworms come out of their comfy earthen homes and commit mass suicide on blacktop and concrete surfaces?" I have since found out the answer (thanks bro) and will share it with you at a later date (and it's not that they are drowning). I find that other people around me are also troubled by this nagging need to explain things. One such person is very upset by the fact that the "Dollar INN" motel chain does not cost a dollar a night but in fact cost many more dollars in exchange for one night of lodging. Why? I say all of this only to let you know that lately I have been perplexed by the following question: "Why do I have an almost irresistible craving for "Pal's" food? It really defies logic. I know that people in this part of the country have no idea what Pal's is so I have included a picture above. The picture says it all. In northeast Tennessee, there are Pal's Sudden Service restaurants everywhere. I think that I have been to most but the question remains; what is it about Pal's that attracts me so? Is it the stylish exterior of the establishment? Is it the "frenchy fries"? Is it the huge sweet iced tea for $0.79 or is it the "Sauce Burger" (taste and you will understand)? The answer is....I don't know. What I do know is that I MUST find out. So in the interest of science and goodwill to all mankind, I can think of only one way to explain this one mystery of many....ROAD TRIP. Yes, in the interest of science, me and my highly trained team of experts are going straight to the source. We're going to Pal's. We will be leaving soon for a no nonsense trip to northeast Tennessee for the sole purpose of eating at Pal's. So that our report will be unbiased, we are not going for any other reason. We will drive there (5hours), eat at Pal's, and return in hopes of answering the unexplained. Again, I do this for the sole purpose of answering the unexplained and the good of all mankind everywhere. Our team will report our findings in a future post.